checking in

everything is still the same. no changes.
i have felt an intense desire to stay at home with the kids and play cardgames, build puzzles, knit while they play outside.
for the most part i am giving in to that desire.

i'm also feeling that peace i asked you all to intercede for. just an acceptance of the day. an awe and wonder at watching His plan unfold. what day will He choose?
i thought about why i was feeling such intense impatience and it was because i have never been able to fully prepare myself for a miscarriage this late in the game. and i began to think that if i were able to prepare myself for that- maybe something would be wrong with me. moms just can't do that. which is fine, because God will come with His grace when it is most needed. and knowing that is helping.

so my patience is at a nice new level, thanks to God. i am going to try my best to keep this gift of patience intact- so i am avoiding all phone calls. expectation from outsiders always seems to rattle me and since this patience is a nice respite- i don't want to ruin it.