Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Thursday, November 11, 2010

we had a wonderful night!  the apnea monitors went off for no reason over and over again until chris and I just decided to take them off.
i am there now.  more accepting and more at peace with letting go.  if jedi passes at night in our bed, the bed he was conceived in- so be it.  peaceful, serene, and surrounded by love.  i slept SO well.  the peace that filled my heart came from the knowledge that God's timing is perfect.  that he cares for us so intensely- i need not fear. 
my milk has come in really well- so well that I skipped the 4am pump session.  it's amazing how sleep or lack there of can affect me so greatly.  
today he has done well.  he sleeps so peacefully and when he's awake he is a calm observer.  he doesn't cry much.  he kind of calls out briefly when he's annoyed.  when the food is coming too fast or when my stethescope is too cold.  in the hospital he sounded like a screaming eagle- kind of a wild call.  but now it's just a single yelp or two.  i like to think it's because i am so attentive- but it is likely because he is getting weaker.  
chris was so attuned that he suggested the drops of breastmilk in jedi's mouth was what was making him congested.  so we started giving him little sponges soaked with water to keep his mouth from drying out- and he hasn't gotten congested since.  thank you, daddy.  plus chris got a neat little humidifier that is directional so jedi slept with it on low and aimed at his face all night.  it worked beautifully.
thank you for your continued prayers and support.  the meals and gifts have been incredible and such a help!
again- i have to say how very helpful our families have been through this time.  without them we wouldn't be able to enjoy fully this brief time with our little jedi.


  1. Im so happy to hear your at peace without the monitor! Now you will get your rest you so deserve! Jedi is in the hands of God, he will protect him and keep him until he feels that it is time for him to come home and when you are more ready to part with him. God will wait until you both are ready, he is good that way. I am continuing to pray for quiet peace in your time together. Please give him a cyber snuggle for me too. your such an inspiring mother...Jedi is sooo very blessed.

    Elizabeth, you may want to talk with hospice (hospice usually will withhold tx but your pedi can give you a script) about Lasix to help keep Jedi comfortable as his heart struggles and he gets fluid in his lungs, a side effect of CHF. medication may even keep him with you a few weeks longer too.

  2. You and your family are a beautiful testament to the gift of life. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope others realize how precious life is, EVERY LIFE, by reading your story.


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