Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Sunday, November 21, 2010

the most painful and the most joyful

is the scent of him. when i returned home thursday evening after
being away all day, i saw his sheepskin and i embraced it. i was not
prepared for the powerful effect the lingering scent of him had over
me. i barely finished inhaling when my body began shaking with sobs
so strong and fierce. only after a few seconds could i no longer
smell it because my nose was stuffed.
and now, whenever i walk past the sheepskin in our room i take a big
breath in. i know it's going to be painful- but i just can't not
smell it.
the vividness of memory that his scent evokes is just too good not to
experience. i'm scared that over time his memory will become less
clear, harder to summon.


  1. Elizabeth NEVER! His memory will never fade! You stayed so grounded with all you did with him. You stayed so in tune to be family centered thru the pregnancy, thru the birth and thru the 13 days! You will never forget. Get a book and start to write down the memories and then when you are ready make it into something beautiful.... a picture frame of the memories written down, a scrapbook, write the memories onto printable fabric and make a quilt for those days when you need to be wrapped in them -his blanket, his clothes, ect! We have done a couple picture quilts for Braedon. On his tough days we make sure they are close where he can see them and remember all the not so tough days.
    Tell me what you want and I will set you up!

  2. Oh Liz, this is what I wrote to you about. We put Matthew's blankets in ziplocs. They still hold his scent and make me feel him again.

  3. You don't know me. I heard about Jedi through Whitney Hudson. I just wanted to say how beautiful your family is and how precious Jedi was. It is obvious when I look at the pictures here and see the expressions on everyone's faces - the love is plain to see. The most important thing is that Jedi felt that love. May your faith lead you through the healing process. You are in my thoughts.

  4. Oh Liz, I am so happy you have this physical reminder of him.

  5. The smell of a baby is like nothing else on earth. That reminder is just so primal and so binding. He is with you.


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