my labor has stalled. i'm still at the hospital and i talked it over
with my doula.
i am standing at a pivotal point in my life. i look ahead and do not
want to move. our lives will change in ways i am not even aware of.
i am always amazed at how my body can be so controlled by my brain. i
can't recall the saying- but it goes something like- "to hold two very
opposing thoughts in your mind at the very same time...". this whole
week has been like that. a very exhausting juxtaposition- a wrestling
with myself, with God. my body has very slyly fought off labor all
week it seems. and now, sitting in my hospital gown, poised on the
edge of the hospital bed my contractions have whispered away to little
shadows.
can't i just let go? can't i just descend into the darkness so that i
can experience the light? it's so heavy. so overwhelming. so
lonely. so scary.
hopefully this post will work it's twofold purpose.
1- i will have purged myself of these thoughts- and free myself to
move forward with this incredible task.
2- i will have you all behind me- praying for my intention- carrying
this cross with me, and lightening my load.
Lighting a Blessed Mother candle and praying for you and your dear ones.
ReplyDeleteWe are with you, Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth. Maybe it is time to surrender all to God. Surrender. Let go. Give it to Him. The first half of the Morning Offering prayer springs to mind.
ReplyDeleteO Jesus,
through the Immaculate Heart of Mary,
I offer You my prayers, works,
joys and sufferings
of this day for all the intentions
of Thy Sacred Heart...
oh liz...i have been praying for you so much. you have been on my mind and heart constantly this week. i will keep praying for you this morning, for your strength and for peace with whatever decisions you have to make that are before you. praying for the holy spirit to overwhelm you with comfort and care, peace with what is to come. rest knowing that our God is big enough to handle your wrestling and there is blessing and peace on the other side of this....my prayers are with you and your family...love, the boudreaux's.
ReplyDeleteSo if you're blogging, are you also reading the comments? :P Elizabeth, you can do this. You've waited so long to meet Jedi and now is the right time, especially since your body is trying to do all the work on its own. We are all thinking about you and praying that you will be holding Jedi in your arms soon.
ReplyDeletecontinued prayers. for surrender, for peace. there will be light after the darkness. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteprayers for you Liz!
ReplyDeleteThe girls and I are here praying for you... and will be all day. Stay strong and believe in God's will no matter what happens...
ReplyDeleteMay the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit pour their love upon you, and Our Lady wrap you in her mantle of love and protection!
We are praying here at Saint Monica's Elizabeth! Keep trusting in Him!
ReplyDeleteyes dear friend.
ReplyDeleteOur family reads this and is in prayer for Jedi and yourself.
Let the peace come and be within.
We are with you in the Spirit.
Loving you.
We have been following along with you on this journey to meet your little one and are praying for you now. Thank you for sharing the gift of Jedidiah with us!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Your brother was the priest who officiated at the wedding of my BIL and his wife.
Praying, praying and praying some more. It's funny I checked your blog right before I went to bed last night and about 10 minutes before you had posted. I prayed a rosary right then for you. My kid's and husband are praying for all of you. We love you - even if we don't know each other real well - and are pleading to the Father for mercy, grace, love and wisdom. What an awesome witness to life you are Liz. Jesus be at your side and His mama wrap her cloak of protection around you and may all of this unfold exactly a Jesus wanted it to when He gave you that precious baby. Hugs and kisses and prayers. Heather
ReplyDeleteMy love to you, Liz. Stalled labor from mental hurdles is hard. I've been there unfortunately. I'm so glad you're a champ. xoxo.
ReplyDeletemy love to you, Elizabeth; you are moving through, at your own pace, and we are here to witness the grace of your journey
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are for strength in your mind and body today. You can do this {{Hugs}}
ReplyDeleteHang in there mama. I know it's hard to let Jedidiah leave his warm, safe haven, but it's time for him to meet his family. What a lucky baby he is to be born into so much love.
ReplyDeleteI, along with my friends and family are behind you, we have been praying and thinking of you and Jedi all day. I hope soon you will be holding your sweet boy and praying he will stay a good long while so he can feel the love you have given him all along.
ReplyDeleteMuch love, Jacqui
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Your faith and strength is truly inspiring!
ReplyDeletePraying for peace for you Elizabeth, and for your family, especially Jedi.
ReplyDeleteOh Elizabeth, I can't imagine the emotional place you are at right now, but I do know one thing....He is with you to hold you and help you walk through this door. I hope by now you are holding your sweet Jedi, smelling that soft baby smell. Prayers to you and your family as this journey continues to the next door.
ReplyDeleteDenise Zirbel
thinking of you and your family.
ReplyDeletewe are praying for you and your family. big hugs! you are such an inspiration
ReplyDeleteAs Our Lady wraps you in her arms cloaked with her mantle, please rest in knowing that there are MANY of us praying constantly for Jedi, you and your family. Peace.
ReplyDeleteWe are praying for you... I have been thinking about you and Jedi and your family all day. Your strength and courage is amazing. It is so obvious that the Lord is working through you. Stay strong and lean on Him.
ReplyDeleteA mother's love is like a circle. It has no beginning and no ending. It keeps going around and around ever expanding, touching everyone who comes in contact with it. Engulfing them like the morning's mist, warming them like the noontime sun and covering them like a blanket of evening stars. A mother's love is like a circle. It has no beginning and no ending.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I continue to send love and strength to you and Jedi and know that the powers that be will guide you.
Praying for you...
ReplyDeleteThoughts and prayers are with you. GOD our Father is with you and holding you. May He give you strength and comfort and peace, now and always.
ReplyDeletePraying for you Elizabeth. I pray that the walking helps, and that you keep the faith.
ReplyDeleteEphesians 3:16 (New International Version)
16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,
Hi Elizabeth - thought I had posted this here - but - you've been in my thoughts and prayers all day. It's a good day - you're bringing a beautiful life into the world - that's a good work. Praying for grace to fall like a gentle rain on you - cleansing and soothing, life sustaining.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking of you and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteLiz,
ReplyDeleteAll of you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Brenda
I've been checking ICAN and this page to keep up with updates. We are praying for you and Jedi and have asked our prayer warrior friends to do the same.
ReplyDeleteProv 3:5-6 5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
I am praying for you precious one. i just can't even begin to imagine where you are at right now. but I do know that our God is right there with you.
ReplyDeleteHang in there girl! We are all pulling for you and sending up lots of prayers. May God give you a beautiful birth experience with little Jedi and lots of great snuggle time! God has a perfect plan for each of you. You are in our hearts constantly!
ReplyDeleteLiz, your strength and faith will see you through. I am lifting you, Chris and all of your family heavily today for God to comfort you in His grip as only He can. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteDear Elizabeth & Chris, Our prayers are with both of you. God love you and your family. You will have an angel in heaven watching over you Elibathe and your six kids. I'm so proud of you, you so strong and will be guide yous kids to understand the short life of your beautiful Jedi,cute name.
ReplyDeleteWe love you Elizabeth, my heart is broken, I'm in tears. We are going to pray from the distance.
Love & prayers.
Sonia, Vlady & Andres
From Quito, Ecuador, South America