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Sunday, September 26, 2010

building a bridge

i have been reading the time magazine dedicated to mother teresa's 100th year birthday. i think the next to last article was the best- for me anyway.
it was all about the letters of hers that were released a few years ago. they were published in a book called "come be my light". the letters were from her to her confessor and possibly some other priests. she expressed doubt. she felt like God wasn't with her. she felt alone, abandoned. the article talked about how Jesus must have felt this way in the garden of gethsemane the night before his passion.
so, it was soothing to hear that doubt happens. it's not a sign of spiritual weakness, distance from God, or abandonment. God was closer to Jesus in the garden, and mother teresa in the hovels of calcutta than he was at any other time. it's what i do with the doubt that is important. will i let it consume me? control me? become me? or will i calmly keep putting one foot in front of the other and answer with love?
this week will be all about building bridges and getting over my doubt and anxiety.
-i need to pack a bag for the hospital(not alone- but with a friend).
-i need to pick a spot where jedi will be laid to rest when he goes home(already got the cemetery, just need to figure out where within it).
-i need to get together with my doula, photographer, and doctor(not all at the same time), and start making solid plans(more like a flow chart/birthplan).

4 comments:

  1. I was just thinking this morning, "We walk by faith, and not by sight" and what a journey it is. And then you posted this, and it seemed to fit. We are praying for strength and peace on your journey.

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  2. I read this and thought of you today...
    Trust in the LORD with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
    in all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will direct your paths.
    Proverbs 3, 5-6
    We are here if you need anything Elizabeth!!!
    Laura

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  3. This is a timely posting for me, too. I "know" it but I really needed a reminder.
    And, just like Mother Teresa, you shine out, too, Liz. She always wondered, am I doing what He wants? Am I pleasing him? Am I close to him. Looking at herself, she was in the dark, but we all could see the light of Christ in her. I see that in you, beautiful mother.

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  4. Dearest Liz,
    Last Monday believe...I heard the readings and thought of you and your family. One was from Job 1:22 in which he proclaims the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, Blessed be the name of the Lord! I remember you saying that years back you were going to try to praise God in everything. That same day the other reading was Luke 9 in which the Lord says "who ever receives this child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me receives Him who sent me; for he who is least among you all is the one who is the greatest."
    God's blessed you and will be there to see you through for you have the greatest one among us with you now.
    Love and prayers my little sister!
    Kathy

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