we'd have an entire paddock full in our back yard.
a few mornings ago i lay in bed, palpating jedi. i like to see or guess at how he's lying. it seems he likes to be horizontal. so in the morning he's head/tail up/down. but during the day he's head/tail side/side.
chris was getting ready for work and i was struggling with thoughts.
"i don't want to go into labor", i finally said. would it be too much to ask to be pregnant through Christmas?
"you have to go into labor eventually."
"well, i don't want to. i'm not ready. i don't think i ever will be." i've never felt like this. by about 35 weeks i am usually groaning about how this pregnancy could last 5-7 more weeks. and with me, it's more like 7 more weeks.
well, i am groaning. but it's immediately checked when i imagine just how it could end. the complaining about how there is no seat comfortable enough, no item of clothing comfortable enough, no flipping over in bed easy enough- they kind of just get squelched in my mind and turn sour. i have him NOW. he's happy NOW. he's alive NOW. later, there are just a bunch of questions.
"if it makes you feel any better, i'm not ready for you to go into labor either."