soon after we brought jedi home an has been on the ceiling since. he
used to like to look at it up there. part of me wants to retrieve it
and take it outside and set it free. but with all the vanishing
evidence of jedi- i kind of want to keep it around.
wednesday night i met up with the father of a newborn that was in need
of milk. i handed him a bag full of litle frozen milk packets. i
didn't think it would be hard- and it wasn't, but it was another
physical reminder of our bond- gone. i got the sweetest message from
the baby's mother- along with a picture- it lifted my spirits to be
i am trying to get back in shape. but part of me feels guilty for
trying to burn off his babyweight. this is a whole new world of
mother's guilt that i am feeling.
if i am having a good day and something makes me laugh- i feel bad for
having a good day.
these thoughts are only there for a split second before i banish them-
but they still occur often enough.