during jedi's pregnancy it began. i started cautioning the kids to "be careful", "get down from there", "don't skate so fast or you'll fall".
i kept thinking to myself- "i'm already on a cliff- a trip to the emergency room for a broken femur would push me over"
that attitude made the world "all about me". instead of fostering the kids sense of adventure and zeal for life, i was trying to push them into a more convenient shape. something that wouldn't burden me as much when i shouldered it.
this sentiment goes to levels deeper than "taming dare devil kids". it goes to other levels- not reaching out to help someone in need- not being open to God's call, the challenge of the spirit- not trusting that God will provide if i just say 'yes'.
my pastor, fr. jack has given some great homilies over the past few weeks. the one i'm referring to isn't posted on the link because it was a weekday mass homily.
i can't remember the exact words but it was something along the lines of not worrying so much about this or that detail. this world is passing- fleeting- so very temporary. and i am putting too much stock in all that is dust.
the ONE thing i need to think about is "what God wants me to do right NOW!"
i get so caught up in "what if" situations- economic and governmental collapse, invasion, slavery, poverty, war, famine. but when i think of fr. jack's words it doesn't bother me much anymore. what does God want me to do NOW?
get up and make breakfast. live. love. say yes.