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Thursday, February 3, 2011

protecting myself

during jedi's pregnancy it began. i started cautioning the kids to "be careful", "get down from there", "don't skate so fast or you'll fall".
i kept thinking to myself- "i'm already on a cliff- a trip to the emergency room for a broken femur would push me over"
that attitude made the world "all about me". instead of fostering the kids sense of adventure and zeal for life, i was trying to push them into a more convenient shape. something that wouldn't burden me as much when i shouldered it.
this sentiment goes to levels deeper than "taming dare devil kids". it goes to other levels- not reaching out to help someone in need- not being open to God's call, the challenge of the spirit- not trusting that God will provide if i just say 'yes'.
my pastor, fr. jack has given some great homilies over the past few weeks. the one i'm referring to isn't posted on the link because it was a weekday mass homily.
i can't remember the exact words but it was something along the lines of not worrying so much about this or that detail. this world is passing- fleeting- so very temporary. and i am putting too much stock in all that is dust.
the ONE thing i need to think about is "what God wants me to do right NOW!"
i get so caught up in "what if" situations- economic and governmental collapse, invasion, slavery, poverty, war, famine. but when i think of fr. jack's words it doesn't bother me much anymore. what does God want me to do NOW?
get up and make breakfast. live. love. say yes.


  1. I'm glad you're back - I've been praying that you would be "up and running" quickly once Fr K had to leave... NOW, I've got to get back to teaching and my own schoolwork! :)

    God bless you and Mary keep you...

  2. I too get caught up in the "what ifs." I struggle with fear and it's gotten worse as I age. Do not be afraid...I believe JPII's intercession will help with this. And thank goodness for Fr. Jack. He always preaches on what I need to hear. Wish I would have heard that homily! Great post!

  3. every day i struggle to let go of the "what ifs". they can be so consuming. when i start rehashing/obsessing on what could be or what could have been i just remind myself there are no such thing as "what ifs", only God's plan.

  4. no's are ok too when needed.
    but, i remember telling kailee to get down from the tree. you said "why?"
    I said, " she could hurt herself!" Your response has stuck with me forever!! its not life threatening.... a broken arm is something that heals. (not those exact words but the point was made.)
    thank you for that.
    you have such a good mothering sense and anything you do seems to be right in my eyes.


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