Thursday, May 19, 2011
and he's due right after that anniversary of jedi's death- so i come
to you all, yet again- begging your prayers. i still and navigating
grief. i don't LOVE the term rainbow baby. i don't like how people
think of other children purely as a bandaid or a salve. i REALLY want
this baby to stand on his own- be his own person, but right now there
is still a shadow and pretty big shoes to fill. will i EVER see this
baby as he is on his own? or will there be a nagging comparison?
will i find pure joy in being able to nurse and sling this baby-
without the shadow of loss in not ever being able to do that for and
with jedi? i am not sure. all this is so new to me.