yesterday i had all my sister's kids over here for the day. so that would be 13 kids running around. in the evening, after a dinner that i botched(ran out of flour for the dumplings so it was more like chicken 'n cornbread bc i used cornmeal), frankie started throwing a fit. i took her upstairs to our quiet room and was firm and calm. we weren't going downstairs until we read a couple books. my hope was that she would fall into much needed sleep, but calming her down was also a priority. she kept trying to negotiate. her little 2 year old mind making me bite my lip to keep from laughing.
"NOOOOO!!!! i don't WANT to read a book!"
"we can go downstairs AFTER we read a book. ok mommy?"
"yes. after we read a book."
"NOOOOOO!!! mommy! AFTER we read a book we can go downstairs."
"sure, after we read a book we can go downstairs."
she kept going around in circles not agreeing with me but using words that were in agreement.
i am not sure how the subject got to jedidiah but she said, "dedidiah(that's how she says his name) died after we went to church."
"we brought jedidiah to church after he died- yes."
"i don't want dedidiah to die"
"yeah i don't either"
"i want you to hold him in your tummy again."
"and I want you to hold him in YOUR arms again."
i said, "guess who is holding him now."
she looked at me.
i said, "mama mary."
"NOOOO!!!(she was still a little bit in her fit) i don't WANT her to hold dedidiah!!"
"ok, well mother teresa can hold him."
"NOOOO!!! dedidiah is a BOY!"
"ok, so Jesus can hold him?"
"yeah"- she smiled.
then she said "where is daddy?"
"he is sitting in his chair."
"i want him to die so he can go hold dedidiah."
that reminded me of the little flower- how she wished her mother would die so she could go to heaven. i thought it was so touching- she wanted someone she knew jedidiah loved and knew here to hold him.
all this talking about jedidiah is new for her. she couldn't really put into words her thoughts back when he was alive and even when he died. but i knew she was storing it away- and would bring it back out when understanding and knowledge merged.