birth and death

i typed up the details of jedi's death awhile ago. i just needed to do it for myself. i've never experienced death first hand. and nobody really talks about it so i wasn't sure what to expect. i may post it- just because. because i don't think it should be taboo. i don't think it should be something you don't know anything about until it happens. it would have been beneficial- i think- to have known at least a little bit of what to expect.
as a mom- i prepare so in depth for birth. but when preparing for death there are almost no sources of information out there. other mom's blogs were beneficial to a point- but didn't really go into detail either.
i think what shocked me the most was the eerie similarity to birth. how your whole body is tingling and alert. you stand on the edge of the earth. looking forward, you see yourself and the new life you will lead. looking back you see your life, how it was- how very different it was.
i think if i were to change anything i'd change the mortuary we used. it felt so wrong handing jedi's body over to absolute strangers. i watched a pbs special on netflix called "a family undertaking" and i longed to have that as an option. chris wasn't comfortable with handling body preparation at home- but i think once we experienced how wrong dealing with strangers felt it gave us a different perspective.